Nikki (nakeisha) wrote in ncis_flashfic,

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Is Sorry Really Enough? by Ashleigh Anpilova

TITLE: Is Sorry Really Enough?
AUTHOR: Ashleigh Anpilova
PAIRING: Leroy Jethro Gibbs/Donald 'Ducky' Mallard
GENRE: Slash (only mentioned). Established Relationship. Angst. Episode Related
SUMMARY: Set a couple of weeks after Escaped. Ducky was correct. Gibbs is avoiding him.
WARNINGS: It does not have my 'usual' type of ending.
SPOILERS: Hiatus to Escaped
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, nor am I making any money from them. I merely borrow them from time to time.

The story was inspired by this icon made by the talented toomuchfandom.

Never say sorry for what you meant to do.

He's right.

I am avoiding him.

But I don't know what else to do.

I walked out on him. Packed up and left.

Left my home.

Left my job.

Left people who cared about me.

Left him.

And all without a word.

All without saying goodbye.

All without saying goodbye to the person I love more than life. More than I can even explain.

Always said I was a bastard.

And now I'm back. But I don't know what to say to him.

"Hey, Duck, sorry I left you."

Yeah, right. Like that'll do.

Anyway, I can't. Because it's partly a lie.

Oh, I am sorry I left him. And yet at the same time I'm not.

I had to. But I don't know how to explain that.

Don't know how to explain that to myself. So how the hell can I explain it to him?

So I avoid him.

It's easier.

Except it isn't.

And the longer I go on avoiding him that harder it'll be.

The more distance they'll be between us.

The more coldness.

The more pain.

The more heartache.

The more suffering.

The more hurt.

Maybe I should find a way. Say something. Anything.

But if I talk to him; tell him; say I'm sorry, then . . .

Then he might expect me to go straight back to his bed.

And I don't know if I can. Not yet. It wouldn't be right.

I love him too much to cheat on him. To lie to him.

And if I sleep with him now, I'm not sure that it'll be him I'm thinking of. And I won't do that to him.

Far better to stay away.

To keep my distance.

To avoid him.

Until . . .

Until I've got her back where she belongs.

Until I . . .

Anyway, is sorry really enough?

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